Thursday, February 4, 2010

Arggggghhhh!!!!!!! The Screaming.......the poking!!!!!! !

I may loose my mind. My grandson screams. He pokes his eyes incessantly and he ignores all my attempts to correct these behaviors. We go through phases. I get him to stop poking for a little while. Later, I get him to stop screaming for a little while. Then something will happen with his schedule or maybe nothing happens and he will start it all again. He has been screaming all day, every day, all week. We went to CVI on Tuesday and he screamed almost all the way there and then again almost all the way back, that's two hours of nearly non stop, ear piercing, high pitched screaming . He also throws things, hits, pinches and just generally behaves in a way I can only describe as "Helen Kellerish" It reminds me of the Helen Keller, pre-teacher that I read about when I was a child. It made an impression I guess and when he behaves this way I start gritting my teeth and trying every way I know to make him stop and get him under control. It usually goes better than it is currently going. My nerves are shot. My head hurts constantly. I have no patience.
During his non-screaming phases he only screams in unfamiliar situations like restaurants, stores, malls, anywhere there are people of course. When you look at Myles you can't immediately tell that there is anything wrong with him and people think, well I don't know what people think but they get angry. They are rude, they make comments, they tell us to control him. So, needless to say I don't take him out a lot. It is just too stressful. I have a lot of experience with kids. I have raised two kids and nearly a third. I have had a foster child. I ran a daycare/preschool with 60 kids, I worked in the school system for years, I worked in an alternative school for years, etc., etc., I love kids of all ages and I normally have an abundance of patience. But I can't control the screaming. He will not respond. I try to be very consistent. I try to be very calm. He will not stop. It is soooooo frustrating I am really pulling my hair out.
We worked very hard on it and he had stopped doing it at home and in the car for the most part for quite a while but since Christmas he has gotten increasingly worse. I really do know why. My daughter and her husband are getting a divorce. His whole little world has been disrupted and he is out of sorts. I just wish that I could get him to a point of feeling more secure so that he would stop because it is so hard to deal with. I can't go anywhere. If I try to talk on the phone the other person says "oh dear, I guess I'll talk to you later ", I don't blame them of course. If I could hang up on it I would too. On top of this he is poking his eyes until they are bruised. This stresses me out because it can cause damage to his eyes. Nothing I say or do will make him stop. Sometimes I just have to hold him and hold his hands down for extended periods of time until I can get him to focus on something else. So what is the point of this post you ask? I don't know really. Just a release of frustration I guess. If you have any ideas of course I am all ears. At least until I go deaf or insane.

9 comments:

  1. Oh Karen, this brought me to tears! I know we all believe in God, but why oh why do little children have to suffer so much? I just don't get it! The poor guy doesn't know any other way to let out his frustration, anger and sadness, he must be utterly exhausted at the end of the day (as you and your daughter must be too). I am so happy that I've been able to come up with ideas these past months that have helped you out a little, oh how I wish something would rush into my head right now! My only thought is that it's probably a part of the autistic piece going on. If it were me I would seek out a pediatric neuro-psychologist, a support group, and possibly a behaviorist. We took David to one when he was seven (that's a whole other story). Myles is so young, I'm not sure what the specialists do at this age, but it's a start. You all can't live like this for much longer. My friend I told you about in your previous post has a behaviorist come to their house for her son (the one with autistic-like symptoms) she is a wealth of information and is also a nurse, so I will run it by her - it can't hurt. Meanwhile of course I'll keep you in prayers and if anything else comes to mind I'll be sure to tell you. All I can say is how lucky your daughter and grandson are to have you! I just hope you can find enough time during the day for yourself. Sending love, hugs and peace....Susan

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  2. Thank you Susan! Today is a little better :)
    I'll be ok, just have to blow off some steam once in a while. I just hate loosing my patience and being frustrated with him.

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  3. Hi Karen, I was just over at your other blog and realized I hadn't checked in on Myles lately! I missed a lot! I wish I had some wisdom for you. I can tell you that Myles is so blessed to have you! You make a difference in his life. I also know that screaming is maddening. So, feel free to rant, we make no judgments, and I'll be back over to read and send prayers and cyber hugs your way!

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  4. Thank you Krista, you and Susan are such a blessing. I appreciate the support and prayers.

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  5. Oh Karen, my heart breaks for you. Someone needs to hold YOU!

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  6. Hi, my name is Claudia. You were kind enough to leave a comment on my son´s Giaco´s post of Muddy on illustration friday....life works in mysteriouse ways. First of all, I can say that I can relate, but I can´t, then I can again. Giaco had a rare condistion called "Sindrome Uremico Hemolitico" (don´t know how to translate that sorry!). This means he was poisoning himself from the inside out, his own blood was killing him. He´s always been very allergic, but I never knew this could lead to SUH or kidney failure, as it did. Giaco knows what it is like to suffer, and as a mom, well, it´s made me strong. He´s alive, and he´s a blessing. He´s on meds and a diet 24/7, but I have gone to great extents to keep him as far away from chemicals (and this includes "normal" medicine and "normal" doctors, yep, the same ones that told me he could die, or suffer irreparable brain damage, and the same ones who can´t understand a miracle ebven when they stare it in the face). Now, he´s not very allergic, he´s ridiculousely allergic, but I take it a day at a time, and remember to stop and look at him once in a while, and remember he IS a miracle, and remember his angels, and then I realize I´m frowning. So thet´s when, somehow, Giaco reminds me to be thankful. One day at a time. Thankyou for commenting on Giaco´s blog, he heals through his art, and people like you keep him going. You are welcome to stop by my blog anytime (click on the "beautiful thoughts" tag and look for "Giaco´s Angel")I´d be honored to share with someone like you. Que Dios te bendiga! Clau
    www.handmadeconamor.blogspot.com

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  7. Wow, thank you for sharing this. I am so grateful for Myles and know that things could be so much worse. That we are actually so lucky. It is just hard to deal with sometimes and I just needed a place to let that out. I will pray for Giaco and I am so happy that you have found ways to deal with his allergies. I really believe that diet is key to so many problems that our children suffer from. I know it won't heal Myles, his disorder is genetic, but I do believe it helps to slow down the degeneration.

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  8. thanks for the virtual hug Artquirks, it warmed my heart

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  9. Good Morning Karen,
    I don't even know what to say except I am here to listen, as is everyone that reads Myles blog. I'm sure writing helps to relieve at least a small amount of stress that you are feeling and I'm hoping the company of others here does the same. You've made me think about being in a store when a child cries and screams and the thoughts that go through my head. I don't normally think of myself as a thoughtless person, but you do make me think twice about how thoughtless I can be when I think those thoughts. I wish I had the power to take it all way for you. I feel so badly for Myles and can only imagine waht must be going through his head. Thankfully he has you to help him try to sort it all out. It's unfortunate that his parents are separating and I know you said, it's upsetting to him, but I know it is to you as well, another serving of stress to your already full plate. I don't just think about you when I come here to read about Myles struggles, but I think about you and your family alot. Although I've never been through anything like this before with a child, I can feel your anguish through your words. Please know you are in my thoughts MUCH. Karen (our horse you saw in the video) is so lucky to share your name. We thought of changing her name when we first got her because my daughter thought it didn't sound like a horses name (whatever THAT is) but she has officially been named after you, as we are keeping her name in your honor. Steadfast and true. I think of you and Myles every time I call her and share your story with others often.

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