Saturday, February 20, 2010

Say it again... and again...

I kept Myles most of the time this past week. There was a lot going on and it was just better for him to stay here. My husband was out of town and so it was just me and the boys. Cyan is 14 and pretty much hibernates in his room most of the time and we didn't  have school this week due to winter break. It was a hard week and I was exhausted and ready for a break, but I have to say that after the first couple of days he wasn't screaming as often and seemed to be much better behaved. I really think that he just needs more consistency and an intensely structured routine in order to get his behavior under control. The problem is that he is going in so many different directions it is almost impossible to keep things consistent.  He is spending the weekend with his dad and so I am sure that Monday will be a "start again" day. Daddy loves him, but it is very much a lets just play and have fun situation when he is with him. Maybe this weekend will be different. Mom and dad are tired of me stressing structure and schedule so they just tune me out now for the most part. I get the "I know, I know, keep him on his schedule"  whenever I try to remind them. There is also the "keep him on his diet and don't forget his vitamins" reminder. I feel like a Drill Sargent sometimes or maybe a broken record is a better reference. And then of course there is me telling Myles over and over again throughout the day, "please don't poke your eyes" and "please use your inside voice" or "please don't scream Myles". Now he has begun to put his fingers in his own ears before he screams. At least there wrong with his intelligence. He also learned several new phrases this week, he had now added to his repertoire, "go night-night" and "good job".  But his favorite repetitive phrase is still "go outside, go bye-bye" he says it 20 or more times a day, over and over and over. So, I guess we are both broken records. LOL! Maybe it will warm up soon and we can spend more time outside and he can scream to his hearts content or till his voice gives out, whichever comes first.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Arggggghhhh!!!!!!! The Screaming.......the poking!!!!!! !

I may loose my mind. My grandson screams. He pokes his eyes incessantly and he ignores all my attempts to correct these behaviors. We go through phases. I get him to stop poking for a little while. Later, I get him to stop screaming for a little while. Then something will happen with his schedule or maybe nothing happens and he will start it all again. He has been screaming all day, every day, all week. We went to CVI on Tuesday and he screamed almost all the way there and then again almost all the way back, that's two hours of nearly non stop, ear piercing, high pitched screaming . He also throws things, hits, pinches and just generally behaves in a way I can only describe as "Helen Kellerish" It reminds me of the Helen Keller, pre-teacher that I read about when I was a child. It made an impression I guess and when he behaves this way I start gritting my teeth and trying every way I know to make him stop and get him under control. It usually goes better than it is currently going. My nerves are shot. My head hurts constantly. I have no patience.
During his non-screaming phases he only screams in unfamiliar situations like restaurants, stores, malls, anywhere there are people of course. When you look at Myles you can't immediately tell that there is anything wrong with him and people think, well I don't know what people think but they get angry. They are rude, they make comments, they tell us to control him. So, needless to say I don't take him out a lot. It is just too stressful. I have a lot of experience with kids. I have raised two kids and nearly a third. I have had a foster child. I ran a daycare/preschool with 60 kids, I worked in the school system for years, I worked in an alternative school for years, etc., etc., I love kids of all ages and I normally have an abundance of patience. But I can't control the screaming. He will not respond. I try to be very consistent. I try to be very calm. He will not stop. It is soooooo frustrating I am really pulling my hair out.
We worked very hard on it and he had stopped doing it at home and in the car for the most part for quite a while but since Christmas he has gotten increasingly worse. I really do know why. My daughter and her husband are getting a divorce. His whole little world has been disrupted and he is out of sorts. I just wish that I could get him to a point of feeling more secure so that he would stop because it is so hard to deal with. I can't go anywhere. If I try to talk on the phone the other person says "oh dear, I guess I'll talk to you later ", I don't blame them of course. If I could hang up on it I would too. On top of this he is poking his eyes until they are bruised. This stresses me out because it can cause damage to his eyes. Nothing I say or do will make him stop. Sometimes I just have to hold him and hold his hands down for extended periods of time until I can get him to focus on something else. So what is the point of this post you ask? I don't know really. Just a release of frustration I guess. If you have any ideas of course I am all ears. At least until I go deaf or insane.